It's okay to ask why.

Last week brought with it a roller coaster of emotions. As a nation, we experienced the great loss of many innocent children and heroic teachers. As a church family, we experienced and are still experiencing the possible nearing of a homecoming of one of our oldest, most precious members.

Through those things, as well as the inconveniences of life that are on a much smaller scale, I am reminded of how sweet it is to be loved by Him. To not make sense of any of it, but to have Him to cry to, brings peace within.

An emotinoal week it was...probably partly due to the lack of sleep and jet lag, but nonetheless it was emotional. Sunday morning we took time to pray for the families affected in Newtown, as well as reflect in God's Word with hopes of finding a small ounce of peace. There were some sad tears shed. Sunday afternoon, my family spent the evening with my grandfather as we celebrated his 90 years of life. He opened his gifts, enjoyed his cake, and handed out sweet hugs. I made it pretty good until he began telling each of us how loved we were by him, and how we had made this the happiest day of his life. Then, the tears came. Tears of joy because of the precious time God has given me with him, yet tears of sadness with the reality of how short our remaining time together could be.  Last night we enjoyed our Christmas dinner at church. After eating way too much potluck, some friends and I sat around and laughed until our full tummies hurt. There might have been some tears shed, but only due to the excessive laughing that went on in that little Sunday school room. It was the perfect way to end the day. Well, that and the Bachelorette wedding :) ahhhh....

happy birthday, pa!

 I found myself on many occasions last week just sitting and pondering the thought of why.

why must there be such heartbreak in our world.

why must there be death.

why must there be such unexplainable tragedies.

While working in the Philippines last week I often had the same thought running through my heard as I do each time I visit...why would someone throw away such beauty. such gifts.

3 of the 11 children at Rosemary's
(l-r: Raphie, Clyde, Vicson)

This weekend i wondered why someone would point a gun at such innocence.

Throughout life there will be countless things we do not understand. Unfortunately, we may never have an understanding,  but i think it is okay to question it. to ask God why.

Often times people say it is sinful to ask the almighty, but i think it brings healing and peace to the wondering, confused, and hurt heart. Should we question God with fists raised and an angry tone? absolutely not. But to seek His wisdom, His will....He understands. One of the most comforting things to me is the sweet reminder that while Jesus is the son of God, He was also man just like us. Therefore, He experienced much of the same hurt that we do.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30
                                                   
Obviously, I will never know all of the answers. The questions that often confuse this heart, will remain unanswered until I meet with the giver of life himself. and then, when I stand before my makers face, the questions that have brought confusion to me on earth, will matter no more. That's what we have to hold on to. This life, this earth..it's not our home. Sometimes it takes pain to be reminded of the joy that we will someday have when we dance with Jesus, and all hurt is gone.

Today, let's slow down our hectic lives and enjoy the many gifts God has given us. We have so much. Let us not wallow in the sadness so long that we forget to be joyful for the many blessings of life.

For He is good.

All the time.