Longing

5 days until take off! Wow! It seems like it has slipped up on me all of the sudden, but at the same time has taken forever to finally get here! I am currently feeling a slew of emotions. Excited, overwhelmed, joyful, anxious, stressed, thankful...to name a few.  I have three midterms on Friday to get through, and hopefully ace. Studying for midterms has been taking up much of my time lately. I counted, and on Monday afternoon, I had gotten roughly twenty-five hours of sleep since the Tuesday before.  I don't know about you, but that's not normal for me!! Although things have been so crazy with school and preparing for the trip, I am so excited to get on that plane next Monday, and head over to the land of pineapples, bumpy roads, and the happiest people in the world :) All of the work is going to be 100% worth it! Everything is finally beginning to really fall into place.  We have gotten most of our supplies, and money, and finally beginning to pack! So many people have helped with this trip, and I am so very grateful! I have learned, being the leader of a trip, (especially when going around the world) can be very stressful.  Of course, God knew way before I realized this, and knew that I would have many obstacles to overcome.  I have to believe that is why He has sent so many of His faithful servants to help out. Some very generous donors provided the money for my trip within two weeks of me sending support letters.  That has never happened before, and was a huge relief. I stand in awe of an AMAZING God. Many churches, clubs, and individuals have made both a monetary donation as well as donated many supplies.

Yesterday, I went to meet with a homemakers club here in Itawamba.  They were so generous, and shared such a compassion for the children that we will be visiting.  When I left there, (and still today) I could barely fit into my car! I'm going to take a picture before I empty it all out this afternoon!




They made little shorts for the boys, and pillow case dresses for the girls. Adorable.



Most of the ladies who helped with the supplies, as well as the clothing.

Lately, I have been studying a lot in Romans.  My dear friend, Ben, actually suggested I do some reading there because it happens to be the scripture that Mr. Bob is using to help prepare the summer missionaries for the summer Philippines trip.  God has really been showing some things to me through Paul.  Most nights I don't get past a couple of verses. So, so good.

As preparing for this trip, I feel much like Paul. He was so anxious to get to the people in Rome and share the Gospel with them.  He had a longing, a deep desire, just to be there in their presence.  Although my circumstances are different from his, I am a missionary too, and I am longing to be in the country that I know God has called me to! To those who don't share those same desires as I do, it might sound absurd.  I miss the simple, and sometimes stinky things of the Philippines.  I miss people being SO eager to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ.  But, at this very moment, my deepest longing is to see the children at Rosemarys, wrap my arms around their little bodies, look into those big brown eyes, and share with those beautiful children how much I love them, and most of all, how much our Father in Heaven loves them.  It's going to be a beautiful meeting!!

As mentioned in my last post, I have a very dear friend whose family is going through a trying time  Please remember them in your prayers. Our God is THE Healer!!! 

Wait..I'm not superwoman??

Every so often I come to the sad realization that I am NOT...superwoman. It's a sad feeling at times knowing I can't do it all. I'm such a hands on person, and like to see things done; therefore, I usually just do them myself and stop waiting on someone else to make a move, ultimately ending up beyond exhausted.

On rare occasions, very rare, I have a complete breaking point. Sometimes it takes some type of big plans falling through, or something super important not going quite as planned, and sometimes it just takes a tiny cut to the foot. Today, it took...a tiny cut to the foot. Piles and piles of to-do lists accumulated on me all day. Things fell through. People. Weather was awful. My best friend got sad news. And then the thing that triggered a breaking point to an overwhelming day was a cut?!
After my miniature melt down in the bathroom, I doctored my foot, and decided I was crazy. Stupid. Foolish. Tired. Helpless. Broken. And downright overwhelmed. So, I picked myself up, fell on my knees, and thanked my God for being holy, genius, complete, helpful, and in total control of everything. I hate it when I think I can do it all. I can't. Not by myself at least.

Okay..that was difficult to write. Now, my secret is out. I'm not perfect..I'm a complete mess at times. I apologize for putting you in a state of shock after finding that out ;)

Much love.

via Pinterest

(this was written Friday, March 2...haven't had time to post)